Because I am so humbled that we will soon have 5 children. Because I didn’t think I would be willing to give up my body for someone else. Because no one told me to hold my expectations loosely. Because I wasn’t aware that labor pains could be a prayer. Because I didn’t know what sacrifice meant. Because I still have a lot to learn about what it means. Because I didn’t plan to breastfeed a baby past 6 months, let alone over a year. Because I realized how complete it felt to have my baby fall asleep on my chest. Because I love the newborn phase. Because at any age, I say it’s my favorite phase. Because there is nothing better than chubby cheeks, a clumsy toddle, and loose teeth. Because I stay up all night looking at old pictures of my kids. Because their silly grins make me want to stop time. Because discipline is hard. Because I don’t like yelling or spanking. Because I am in control of little people who have no control. Because I didn’t know how much the laundry would pile up. Because I let my kids play in the mud and the rain. Because they like worms and snakes and building teepees. Because I want to preserve their childhood as long as possible. Because I scrub a lot of marker off the walls. Because I have mixed feelings about elementary school. Because I want my kids home with me. Because I love teaching them. Because I learned in the kitchen. Because frosting makes everything better. Because they always save a treat for daddy. Because they run to him as soon as he walks in the door. Because he stops on the way home to get them cookies with sprinkles. Because bedtime is always later than it’s supposed to be. Because I always give in to one more book. Because they know I’ll fall asleep in their beds. Because I am exhausted at the end of the day. Because I have given my family every mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual part of myself. Because in the grand scheme of things that change, there is no part of my life that is left untouched. Because I had no idea how much my faith would grow. Because I had no idea how much fervently my heart could love. Because God wanted to show me true love and mercy. Because I know I have more to give. Because tomorrow is a new day. Because these are the days.
This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series “A Question”.
